BLOWY SHIRTS

this morning I went into manhattan to sell some old records and acquire some new ones. a not-insignificant portion of my collection consists of records bought to mark moments, good and bad, and the last full day of obama’s presidency felt a worthwhile occasion. plus the forecast said it would be nice out today. 

I decided to listen to janet jackson’s ‘rhythm nation’ on my way there. at the time – middle school? high school? – its singles were ubiquitous, each one an event, and, at the time, I had no sense that they were part of a coherent whole, especially one that was all dreamy and utopian.

today it sounded so distant yet so vital. and I was reminded of an interview I once did with michael k williams (best known for playing ‘omar’ on ‘the wire’) where he talked about his early aspirations to be a dancer. seeing the ‘rhythm nation’ video changed his life. he said:

“Rhythm Nation” spoke to my brokenness. The imagery. I looked at what the lyrics were saying in the beginning—she’s talking about how we are a nation, bound together by our beliefs, we are like-minded individuals working toward a world with no color lines, I believe she says. You have Tyrin Turner, little young brother, you know, dark skinned, you know, big lips, big nose, nappy headed, much like myself. He was stuck in this damp dreary warehouse trying to find his way out. And Janet came in there to let him know, You are not alone. She pulled him out of that dark, damp warehouse. And at that time, when I saw that video, that’s what my life felt like. My life felt like a dark, damp warehouse that I felt alone in. I was trapped in my own head. When I saw that video, the type of dancers she used—it wasn’t like everybody was showing their body, it wasn’t about being the sexiest. Everybody was in black, it was militant, she had tall, she had short, it just said to me, If you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, if you tired of being a victim, if you want to stand up for what you believe in: come join me. If you want to be strong: come join me. The whole thing of wearing black. It just looked so strong. It was the first time I saw myself where I could be myself and still be strong. I gravitated to it.

at the time, all I could muster in response was something to the effect of “dope beat, too.”

but today, I want to find a nation.